I have a guest blogger today.  You should be very jealous!  I didn’t have to do anything, except take the picture you are about to gouge your eyes out from looking at enjoy and copy and paste and post this entry.  That’s it.  The rest was up to my coworker who I must say…should get her own blog because Oh My Hell she’s hysterical!!!  She called me to accompany her downstairs, and upon arriving at the lobby we were met with the Ghost of Christmas puke.  As we got some air outside, we commented back and forth about the ugliness that is our lobby.  My coworker was exceedingly passionate about the lack of taste so I told her it would be a great blog entry…and OMG she should totally guest blog on my blog.  So she scurried back to her desk and wrote the following.  So without further ado…I give you:

Tis the Season to be…

Tacky.

Screw Merry, and apparently they did, because now Christmas is throwing up in our lobby. The air is crisp, the trees are decked out in white lights down to the last branch, and dog pee is frozen on the ground. The holiday spirit is tearing through glorious New York City and no organization wants to be left out of the Yule Tide cheer. Enter our office building…it is far from a winter wonderland!!!

And what do your wide eyes take in upon entering? But a gaudy, bristle-brush Christmas tree decked not with boughs of holly and that fa la la la crap, but giant blue balls that spiral down 10 feet from the tip-top to its massive girth at the bottom. Blue, of course, for our Jewish brethren as we cannot leave them out of this holiday mess. I also believe that they are a result of what Merry did after she found out she was knocked up. No more jollies for you!

But it doesn’t end there, my friends, it doesn’t end there. Although we are the publishers of the leading fashion and style publications, we have completely lost our ability to find decorations that match—or remove the existing ones that may clash with the spirit of the season. Namely, the tropical flowers that grace our lovely halls year-round. Birds of paradise, orchids galore. (But at least we’ve covered our Pacific Islander population.)

And if the 1970’s reject tree that we bought for 50% off at a K-Mart, blue light, day-after Christmas extravaganza, side-by-side with our tropical foliage wasn’t upsetting enough, we’ve also caused much grief to a poor family from the Jersey suburbs…by stealing the 8-foot, plastic snowman that once graced their front yard. Oh woe is me, please make this vision stop! I’m longing for my long-lost sugar plums that have been kicked to the curb.

Oh my word, I almost forgot! There’s a lovely shining star on top: the three-piece orchestra soothing our auditory nerves with gentle renditions of the classic holiday tunes—in hope to distract us from the visual spectacles swimming before our eyes. If there’s one thing they got right in this final addition, it’s most likely is this. Our trio will play and play until this horrific display has finally sunk.

And yet I’m left wondering, what happened to my Kwanza Unity Cup?