I just pumped for the very last time in my office.  I’ll pump next week while on vacation, but I’m done pumping in a work environment.  It’s bittersweet!  I am a bit sad, even with the trials and tribulations I had with people and the closet!  But I’ve made it almost a year.  I won’t be pumping when I start my new job in the new year.  It just doesn’t make sense for me to ruffle feathers right off the bat.  But I am happy I made it this far and I will continue to breastfeed Li’l Foot until she is weaned.  I foresee just after she turns one perhaps, but we’ll see.  Who knows!

Items with * ‘s next to them are the items in particular I advise you stay clear of…mmm-kay?

Get up.

Shower.

* Remember AFTER you get out of the shower that you forgot to put conditioner in your hair.

Continue to get ready to leave.

* Try to get a brush through your un-conditioned hair.

* Resign yourself to the fact that your hair will just have to look like a tumbleweed today.

Pack up baby.

Pack up yourself.

Leave house.

Get baby in car and her bag too.

Drive to daycare.

* Get stuck behind a handicap transport van that can’t turn right on red which makes you even later than you already were.

Pull in the driveway at daycare.

Go around the car to pluck baby from her seat.

* Realize when you open the door that one of the bottles of milk has gone and tipped over and spilled ALL of it’s contents onto the back seat floor of your Honda Pilot.

* Weep over the loss of 5 ounces of the “liquid gold” that was just wasted.

Luckily you have Husky Liners on the floor in the back seat.

* Go into daycare with you, the baby and the diaper bag dripping of breastmilk.

* Decide whether you should go home to get more milk or let daycare make do with 1 bottle. THE SMALLER OF THE 2 BOTTLES you brought. (3 ozs. as opposed to 5 ozs.)

* Ultimately decide this is your baby you are talking about and go the hell home.

* Drive home.

* Take the offending bottle out of the back seat and bring it in the house.

* Realize once you get to the kitchen sink, that the reason why the bottle leaked spilled all over was because it didn’t have a nipple in it.  It is a Playtex drop in and only had the screw on top with a cap, but no nipple insert.

* Clean out the bottle and liner and recycle it for the milk you are bringing to daycare because hey, you haven’t gotten your money’s worth from that liner yet.

* Grap a bottle of cleaner from under the kitchen sink and a wad of paper towels to clean out the back seat.

* Grab 2 packages of frozen milk so they have one on hand at daycare if they ever need it.

* Think to yourself, why didn’t they tell me they didn’t have a frozen packet of milk there so I could bring a replacement.

* Leave the house and go back to the car.

* Clean out the back seat.

Drive away.

* Get half way down the road and wonder why it is you can’t remember locking the door.

* Decide whether you’re just losing it and you actually did lock the door or if you really didn’t lock the door and go back.

* Go back, damn it.

* Park car in driveway.

* Check front door.

* Realize it was UNLOCKED and you’re not really crazy.

* Good thing you went home.

* Go inside one last time and give the dog a treat as a bribe for his silence to never speak of the entire incident ever again.

* Wonder if the dog will keep getting up every 20 minutes for the rest of the day to see if I have come back yet again.

* Go back to daycare.

* Drop off the milk packets.

* Contemplate just going home and calling in.

* Stay at daycare for a little while and play with cutest daughter ever.

* Decide it’s time to go.

* Have a heart break when you get up to leave and your daughter crawls toward you and climbs up your pant leg.

* Decide to stay until her bottle of milk is ready.

* Leave.

* Attempt to make it to the train station in one piece.

Make a pit stop at Dunkin’ Donuts.

* Walk in a notice the very long line of customers and the slow as molasses employees.

* Decide to stay anyway.

* Curse the customer in the reflective vest for ordering breakfast for the entire group of his workers and monopolizing one of the slow as molasses employees.

* Finally order a LARGE coffee and a muffin.

* Have the employee hand over your coffee and then remind her about the damn muffin she never gave you.

* Don’t forget to taste the coffee BEFORE you leave to make sure it tastes right.

* Drive down the hill to the train station.

* Park in an overly full parking lot.

* Drag yourself and all your belongings to the train waiting on the platform.

* Convince yourself you have time to make that train.

* Sigh and stomp your feet at the bottom of the steps (on the parking lot side of the tracks) when you realize the doors are closing and the train is pulling away.

* Read the train schedule and realize the next train coming isn’t for another 45 minutes.

* Realize you won’t be at work until at least 11 ay. em.

* Email your bosses to let them know you are going to be late.

* Rejoice in the fact that today was the day you decided to bring your boss some of the left over chili your hubbie made last night, and that maybe that would make up for being so late.

* Sit at your desk and blog about your morning experience for the first hour and a half you are at work.

* Tell yourself, you can’t make this shit up!

* Go about your business the rest of the day imagining what could’ve been different.

* The end.