I am putting off my “thankful for friends” post because yeesh, I didn’t know I had so many and I can’t leave ANY out. This will take some thought and effort. More than my living on 4 hours of sleep brain can muster tonight.
Instead, and this post is not going to go to a crying weepy place, but I mentioned my family yesterday and how thankful I am for them. I would be remiss if I didn’t write a post about the family members I love so dearly but have lost. I mean seriously, they made me who I am, I can’t go without mentioning them. And wouldn’t it help to put a face to who made me who I am too?
Growing up I was pretty fortunate to not lose anyone close to me in my young years. The first death I really first remember was a high school classmate who shared the same birthday as me. He died 2 weeks before graduation in a drunk driving car crash. His friend, our other classmate was driving the car. It was one of the scariest moments of my teenage years. It was then I realized how fragile life actually is and senseless other teenagers drinking and driving was. I can honestly say, I never once drank in high school, probably because I was never part of the “in” crowd. And I can honestly say I am happy I wasn’t part of that crowd.
So when I first lost a real family member it wasn’t until a few years later.
This is my Uncle Gene (my mom’s Uncle, so my, great uncle). I didn’t know him that well, but we’d visit him and Aunt Grace (I don’t have a picture of her to my recollection) in New Jersey on occasion. I remember going to his house. He had such a sense of humor. As a young kid, I didn’t “get” his sense of humor at the time but my mom assured me it was because he loved me that he seemingly picked on me, when he was actually just joking around. I remember having a Klondike Bar for the first time at their house. I thought I’d died and gone to heaven.
Uncle Gene:
My Uncle Jack is my father’s Uncle. So my great Uncle. And he truly was great. LFD and I would not be where we are today if not for my Uncle Jack. He worked in NYC up until 2 weeks before he passed away. He rode the bus from the upper east side down to midtown every single day until then. The first time I remember meeting my Uncle Jack was the year I graduated from high school. He came to my graduation party. He took the train up to Westchester to get here. I don’t know what made my dad reach out to him after so many years of just losing touch, but I am so glad I had the chance to know him. I went to the estate sale after he passed away and purchased a set of crystal dolphins. I still have those dolphins and I still love them. I also wake up to the alarm clock that he used to get up to in the morning. He was the sweetest, kindest man I have ever known. I am thankful that LFD had a chance to meet him before he passed away.
Uncle Jack:
This is my Uncle Mike, my aunt’s (father’s sister) 2nd husband. While he is not a blood relative, I still think of him to this day. He had one of the best senses of humor of anyone I know. He too, was a very kind man. He passed away just after my junior year of college. I was out in Montawk with LFD and some friend jet skiing when I got the news. It was all I could do not to rush back home and get up to Vermont to be there for my aunt. I am thankful LFD also had a chance to meet my Uncle Mike.
Uncle Mike:
My dad passed away in March 2001. It goes without saying that I LOVE HIM! Yes we had our share of moments. But I loved him and we were at peace with each other when he died. He passed away just after LFD and I got engaged. I like to think he knew I would be taken care of by LFD for the rest of my life, so he let go. I wish he were here to share in the moments he has missed. He would ADORE Li’l Foot, his namesake, this I know for sure!!! And he would certainly be enjoying ALL of his grandchildren, us kids and my mom. I am so especially thankful that he and I were close when he passed away.
My dad:
A side note about my dad…it makes me giggle when I’m driving and I’m listening to the GPS. I have this habit of disobeying the GPS. My dad was INCREDIBLE with direction. It was the sailor in his soul, I’m sure. If there was a back road, my dad knew it and took it, even if it added time to the trip. I imagine what my dad would do today if he got his hands on a GPS. It makes me giggle every day when I deliberately go against where the GPS tells me to go, because I KNOW my dad would do the same thing.
Last month, my sister asked me to write about my grandmother on her birthday, but circumstances being what they were, her birthday was the day before we were leaving for Hawaii and I couldn’t wrap my head around a post. I LOVED my grandmother. That is first what you should know. But we weren’t best buddies. If I was born a day later I would’ve been named Isabelle, because her birthday is the day after mine. Maybe had I really been born a day later we would’ve been closer, as maybe she would’ve found a connection with me. I didn’t really know her per se. She lived in Daytona Beach all my life. During the early years of my family (before I even arrived on the scene) she lived up here in New York. She was always with my family before I came along. She knew my siblings, she didn’t (for all intents and purposes) know me at all. She knew me for the few weeks she would spend at our house during the summer. I tried to warm up to her. We played cards, but she’d get annoyed and not want to play anymore and that would make me sad. And then I remember going to Florida to visit her with my oldest sister when I was 13. My grandmother said some not nice things to me and it hurt. While I don’t have the best memories of my grandmother, I am soooo thankful for her. She is the only grandparent I ever knew. She is the only link I had to that generation of my family. She helped with my college education (to what extent I don’t know). She turned 80 and we threw a big ol’ party for her and it was such a great time. About a hundred people came together to celebrate her life. And no one, but NO ONE could tell a story like my grandmother. She had some of the best stories especially some of the ones from being a teacher in the city back in “the day”. My grandmother came up from Florida to be at my dad’s funeral. It snowed, during the weekend of my dad’s funeral. Unfortunately my grandmother fell and hurt herself, but ignored it. We got her taken care of, but she just didn’t ever truly recover. She passed away just after my wedding in October of 2002. While I don’t have all the warm fuzzy memories of my grandmother that my sister probably hoped I would write about, I did love her very much and an thankful I had her in my life.
My grandmother (Boppi as we called her):
And last but certainly not least of course. My godmother whom I lost this past March to a battle with the “C” word. I am not going to get all mushy at this point. I have written this entire post without shedding a single tear…can you believe that? I knooooow…me neither…but I swear it’s true!!! Progress people, this is HUGE progress! I will say this, I still truly believe the rainbow I saw in the western sky on the night she passed away, on my way to the hospital, was her. No doubt. I think you all know why I am so thankful for her. All your kind words in comments and emails have helped me so much, you will never know.
My Godmother:
These members of my family live on in my heart, mind and soul. I am thankful for each of them and the part they played in making me who I am. I am very fortunate to say these wonderful, caring, sensitive, loving full of hope people are part of my family…ME! MINE!!! MY FAMILY!!! I am thankful for my family members I have lost and hopeful I can share them with Li’l Foot as she gets older.
