Tales of Li'l Foot

This morning as I dropped Li’l Foot at daycare, I usually always leave my shoes (whichever I happen to be wearing at the moment), today it happened to be my oh-so-stinky-and-should-be-retired-black-flip-flops outside the baby gate of the Infant room. This morning I forgot but as I took my, oh maybe 5th step into the room, I remembered that I needed to take them off and instead of going out of the room and taking my oh-so-stinky-and-should-be-retired-black-flip-flops off I just left them where they lie…right inside the baby gate. Fine, right?…the babies on the floor were at the other end of the room and really I’d be gone before any of the crawling babesters could get to the oh-so-stinky-and-should-be-retired-black-flip-flops, right? RIGHT?

I went about my parental duties of stocking the fridge with some baby-love-beverages making sure to leave one out for Li’l Foot’s morning feeding. I made sure I took out Li’l Foot’s new bigger daycare swaddle blanket for nap time (which by the way is my sarong…which by the way still smells like Hawaii from last October…which by the way if you’re wondering smells like sun screen and just an overall beachy aroma type smell…it’s a good kind of smell…no worries). I snorgeled Li’l Foot as she lay on the floor. I did all those things that pass the time way too quickly from 7 to 7:10 (I swear that’s the fastest 10 minutes of my day and it’s also the 10 minutes I wish I could make 1,000 minutes so I could spend more time with Li’l Foot). If anyone knows how to make 10 minutes seem longer, I’m all ears. While I did my thing there were two other infants in the room, one whose dad just dropped her off and the other being the daycare staffers own daughter (you know as in the person who takes care of Li’l Foot…has her daughter in the room). (There has to be a conflict of interest in there somewhere…I just haven’t figured it out yet, except that maybe if her daughter and Li’l Foot and/or any other infants were to be in trouble of some kind the daycare staffer would come to the rescue of her own daughter before any others, no? Am I wrong? Did I over analyze again? Dang it.

And why, might you ask does Li’l Foot need a new bigger swaddle blanket…well hey webiverse…funny you should ask that very qeustion. Maybe because Li’l Foot weighed in this weekend at 21 pounds…yes you read that right…TWENTY. ONE. POUNDS. (she hadn’t pooped in 3 days though so maybe she’s not that big yet…maybe?) And she no longer stays swaddled in the blanket I have been bringing since she started daycare 3 months ago.

Anyway…I started to leave and the daycare staffer was telling me something and I happened to look towards the door to the room (where really I needed to be exiting so I wouldn’t miss my train) and where *gasp* the day care staffers own baby was playing with the baby gate just a few seconds prior…but now…now…she was gnawing on the end of my oh-so-stinky-and-should-be-retired-black-flip-flops…Like. I. Said. Just. Iew. And. Also. Gross. (heave, I might have just threw up a little in my mouth) I’ve had these oh-so-stinky-and-should-be-retired-black-flip-flops since I don’t know when, and they are totally worn in and/or worn out, however you want to look at it. My disgust could not be hidden as her mom/daycare staffer still spoke to me and I was all Iew, no don’t eat that, gross and I ran over to her. Dude, I wouldn’t even gnaw on my own flip flop. Do truly have any idea where those flip flops have been? Honestly, I work in a big city, I’ve mistakenly worn these oh-so-stinky-and-should-be-retired-black-flip-flops on days that I didn’t watch the weather and it rained and I puddled jumped to the train station and yuck, the filth these oh-so-stinky-and-should-be-retired-black-flip-flops have been subjected to. I’ve been in my backyard, where Guiness does his business, I’ve walked a lot of miles in these oh-so-stinky-and-should-be-retired-black-flip-flops and the thought of that little 1 year old having one in her mouth scieves me out. When I took the oh-so-stinky-and-should-be-retired-black-flip-flops away from her, she looked up at me and smiled and I noticed the toe end was noticably saturated with baby drool (heave, again).

So if nothing else, I can add baby drool to the plethora of things my oh-so-stinky-and-should-be-retired-black-flip-flops have been subjected to. I mean think about it, a city street has everything from uri- (huuuunnnhhh <—me heaving)…god I can’t even list the things because now any and all of the things I can come up with are now in the childs mouth. As soon as I get home, these oh-so-stinky-and-should-be-retired-black-flip-flops will be given a proper burial. I am vowing to get rid of them, you heard it here first webiverse I am actually going to get rid of my favorite pair of flip flops. And do you know why? Because people…any day now Li’l Foot will be crawling and OMG…what if she finds them in the shoe tray and sucks on them too (huuuuuunnnnhhhh).

I simply can’t talk about this anymore…all I keep doing is heaving and when I heave I picture my friend Moonshine when we were sitting on my couch and she was telling me a story that made her heave and her mouth and tongue did this weird thing and she made this God awful sound (like a gagging noise)to go with it and tears came out of her eyes because that’s how grossed out she was about the story she was telling me. I am emotionally scarred from having this little 1 year old suck on my flip flop and I promise never to wear my shoes (any of them) in the room again!!! I’ll also update you on the oh-so-stinky-and-should-be-retired-black-flip-flops burial. May they rest in stinky peace!!!

Anyone know anything about hand, foot and mouth disease? I’m just sayin’!