Shoelaces…
I hate shoe laces! I hate them because I’m pregnant and can’t tie them like a normal human being. I hate them because they just aren’t what they used to be. They are made of slippery material nowadays, not the material that actually stays tied for more than 5 minutes. I hate shoelaces because I hate the people who invented them because those people are evil in the eyes of pregnant women. I hate shoelaces because I have to wear my sneakers. Shoelaces are evil. I am forced to wear my sneakers because they are the only shoe that makes my days bearable from 7 in the morning to 7 at night. I hate shoelaces because when I walk and the damn things untie themselves I hear a little tap…tap…tap on the ground of the hard plastic end of the lace as I waddle along. I hate shoelaces because I have my father’s wide high arched feet and while a normal foot bearing person can tie their shoelaces with ease and plenty of extra lace at the ends, I only have about 5 inches on either side in which to tie the laces which isn’t enough to successfully tie a shoe with any permanent lasting effects.
As I peer past my growing belly to the floor beneath my chair I notice 2 things.
1. I can’t tie my shoelaces that are laughing at me from only 2 feet away. “ha, ha…ha, ha…you can’t ties us…nah nah nah nah nah nah!!!” All the while my sneaker is sticking it’s tongue out at me!
2. I will have to take my shoes off my feet, tie my sneakers in my lap and make sure to leave them loose enough so I can slip them back on.
So you know where I’ll be for the remaining 48 days of this pregnancy…in some chair…somewhere…tying my shoes…walking five steps…then having to stop again to repeat the steps again.
48 DAYS!!! Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!! So excited…but I still HATE shoelaces.
LOL… You need to invest in a comfy pair of slip on sneakers!
Why don’t you get one of those things that little kids get.. You know, the plastic things that ‘bite’ the knot in your laces so they don’t come undone? I’m sure they have Pooh ones.. Or you could just get velcro.