Tales of Li'l Foot

Li’l Foot had many mannerisms that remind me of either me or her daddy. I can’ place where this one comes from though. It MUST be from daddy. I would NEVER EVER make a face like this…

Either way, it’s cute! And in case you can’t see, she’s got her lips pursed out! She was really concentrating on that cat tail.

As I sit here typing this, I’ve hijacked Pocklock’s laptop in the downstairs of their house. I was just laying bed in the guest room and realized, oh no…it’s NaBloPoMo, I’ve come this far, I can’t NOT post tonight. Here’s the back story…

This morning I shipped Li’l Foot off to school so I could get some things done around the house without a toddler underfoot and since LFD was at work, I’d have the place to myself to buckle down and “get’er done”! I cracked the whip on myself from 8:30 until 11 when LylaBean arrived at my house so I could watch her while Pocklock and SuperDan went to visit her granddad. Within 5 minutes, even before they left my house, I had kicked a ball trying to show off my mad soccer skillz and bounced it once on the top of my foot and with the second tap, I toed it and it flew right into the side of LylaBean’s head…which was about 2 feet away from my foot. It was one of those really light balls that you get in the frozen food section of the super market, but still, a ball, a head, tears ensued!!! I think all three of them reconsidered the situation and almost decided to leave altogether. Go me! But they didn’t, I got Bean all to myself and I loved every minute.

Well, except for that one minute right after lunch and right before bottle and nap when Bean decided to play with the hardest toy in the toy box, smacked against her face and got a fat lip (there might’ve been a teeny tiny miniscule amount of blood inside the fat lip). That was fun, let me tell ya. This kid, my very own Goddaughter is out to get me. It never fails, it’s ALWAYS something. I’m buying a bubble for her to get wrapped in when she’s with me.

So, she had her bottle and then went down for a nap at 12:45. Then proceeded to sleep for THREE WHOLE HOURS. She didn’t wake up until 3:45. Just 15 minutes before I was due to pick up Li’l Foot. It was really perfect timing. The rest of the day went relatively uneventful. Bean and I went to pick up Li’l Foot. We came home. Played. Watched and episode or 5 of The Upside Down Show and then we ate dinner. You’d think these kids never ate before, the way they ate. And you’d think they hadn’t been snacking on everything under the sun since Li’l Foot got home from school. We ordered a pizza. LFd went to get it. He and I ate. And then I started to clean up dinner remnants. I cut off the coupon from the pizza box. Wrapped the leftovers and put them away and then was going to take the box out to the garbage. I crossed through the living room. Entered the foyer and remembered the half slice of leftover pizza that Li’l Foot didn’t eat still inside the box and when I opened the box I had also forgotten the pizza cutter. So I backtracked only as far as LFD in his chair because I was too lazy to go all the way back to the kitchen. He took both and shen I turned back around he was poised to eat the remainder of Li’l Foot’s slice. I stopped him as the slice was almost to his mouth. When he asked why, the next thing I knew, we were surrounded by darkness. Power. Out. Within seconds I hear LFD say, “What jut happened?” I replied with, “ummm, doofus the power went out.” And then Li’l Foot and Bean started to whimper and get stressed out, because HOLY HELL they were standing in the middle of the living room floor and there was no light with which to see. They freaked out!

I told LFd to grab his cell phone and flip it on so we could see. And then I repeated myself and he said he didn’t know where it was. Swell! Since I had been cleaning all day I remembered a flashlight on the bookcase next to where I was standing in the foyer. I put the pizza box under my arm and felt around with my other hand to find the flashlight, praying to all things good and holy that the batteries were good in it. They were! Thank GOD because the kids were losing their ever-loving minds! I had just cleared out the candle stash this morning so I knew where every one of them was and where to find them. Took them to the kitchen to light. And then in one of my trips back to the kitchen, my hand got away from me and my pinkie finger just kinda flew out, brushed up against one of the Yankee Candle glass tops for the 22 oz. jar, it careened off the counter and smashed on the floor only scaring the toddlers that much more. And then it not only was dark, but I couldn’t put Bean down, and have both her and Li’l Foot walking around and possibly mingling into the kitchen, never mind the nosey nelly dog! It was seriously like someone at that very moment, somewhere upset the balance of our universe and all things that could go wrong, did.

I put LFd on the task of going to his truck to get his iPod to entertain the little ones. He went out and got it and when he came back put Li’l Foot on his lap to watch and then proceeded to not put anything on the iPod. It wasn’t even turned on yet, but he was texting SuperDan about the situation. So then in trying to calm down the toddlers, find the dust broom, find a non-existent dust PAN (note to self…put dust pan on the shopping list…do not confuse shopping list with Christmas list), and light more candles, I now also had to tell LFD what his next steps were and how TEXTING was not a priority. HELLO…calm the children first!!! Then I found headphones but ehy were actual over the head headphones, so both kids couldn’t listen to Shane and David make asses of themselves at the same time. So I had to find my Bose ones so they both could hear. But then apparently I lost one of the ear buds and couldn’t put a bare ear bud into their ears. ARGH!!! It just kept getting worse, and then Pocklock called in response to the text LFD sent to SuperDan. They were on their way, but she asked if we wanted to come over since we had no power. The foresight in me thought it was a great idea because hello…toddler…nightlight…music to sleep to on the Bose speaker…which is to say none of those things would work out in our favor with no power.

LFD entertained the kids long enough for me to pack a bag. LFD was going to stay home because he has to work overtime in the morning which came up last minute this afternoon. Good money, but ugh! So here we are, at Pocklock’s & SuperDan’s house tonight. And here I am hijacking her computer. We arrived to find Christmas had barfed up cardboard boxes full of holiday cheer, and I was coerced into playing elf. No one, but NO ONE can make their banister look festive and cheery the way I can…thank you very much!!! We revealed to SuperDan tonight that Pocklock made me redo it one year after SuperDan had done it. He failed to equally space the garland between the rungs in the banister and good Lord he didn’t FLUFF the garland so it was all flat!!! I just gave it some help! (Love you SuperDan!)

So tonight I am thankful for power. And nightlights. And being able to post so as not to ruin my month long NaBloPoMo streak. And thankful for Pocklock having the quick thought to have us over. She’s a problem solver that one…she amazes me! It had been a while since our power had gone out like that. It was windy here today so I’m sure that was the source of the problem. I think the last time our power went out like that it was the summer of ‘06 and I was pregnant and it was HOT! and I was super uncomfortable! I slept on the couch that night, where it was marginally cooler.

Have you ever found yourself unexpectedly “in the dark”?

This morning, getting out of the house was a major feat in and of itself. This toddler of mine is such the diva. I don’t know where it came from as I was all tom-boy growing up. First she didn’t want the pair of underwear I picked out for her, she wanted different ones. Then she didn’t want the outfit I picked out, she wanted something different. Then she peed in said outfit (Wha? Why? She’s potty trained, there was no need, and it’s not like she hadn’t gone potty when she woke up in the first place!) she was wearing that she WANTED to wear and then when I broke the news other that now she wouldn’t be able to wear the underpants nor the pants SHE PICKED OUT, it was like I just told her she would never be able to watch the Upside Down Show EVER again! Toddler tantrum of epic proportion ensued. Then…THEN? It was time to go. I got her fleece lined sweater jacket. She saw me coming with it and rant he other direction like I was going to be putting a jacket made of barbed wire on her. She insisted she wanted to wear her “sweater”. A wool Gap sweater that was a hand me down that was worn every other WARM day of this week. Today was NOT warm. I put my foot down. I chased her into the corner. I wrestled a 35 pound toddler into a warm cozy fleece lined sweater jacket. And toddler tantrum fest 2009 persisted. I carried her to the car. I saw where this morning was going and if I put her down there was no way on this earth she would’ve walked on her own free will to the car, just 30 yards from the front door. I strapped her in to the car seat ad listened to her fight it all the way to school. Heaven help me I played the radio at the highest volume the majority of the ride because good grief kid…enough was enough. I was done. And on the way to school she kicked the back of my seat, she insisted on the bottle of water that was in the back of m seat in front of her that I couldn’t reach and then when we got to school she insisted on wearing the stray sweater that as even lighter than the one I had to wrestle her for at home!!! NO! NO!!! NO!!! Annnnnnd NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! ENOUGH!!!

As we pulled into the parking spot and I was just about to turn the car off, Rascall Flatts song, “Why” came on the satellite radio. One of my favorite songs And i was gong to miss it. Why couldn’t they just play it 5 minutes later…WHY?

I opened her door, unstrapped her, she kept trying to fight me on the whole sweater thing. I wasn’t having it, I threw her over my shoulder, decided she really needed to walk and then cattle prodded her into school. I logged us in and as we ushered past the reception desk I uttered something to the effect of, “It’s a darn good thing you’re open on Friday, let me just tell you that!!!” I spent NO TIME in the classroom. I got her in her room. Too her jacket off. Hung her bag and jacket. Gave her a few hugs and kisses and I was all “peace out homeslice”!

On my way down the highway, I was in a zone. I had recovered from the trauma of owning a toddler. I was singing to the music minding my business when I noticed half way down the highway, a white Honda was shifting lanes and trying to get ahead of everyone. I tried staying clear.

The scenario goes like this. I was in the left lane behind a line of cars. There was a box truck in the center lane, moving but clearly holding up a little bit of cars behind. The white Honda kept shifting from the left to the middle lane. The ar in the right lane would inch a little ahead of te box truck and the girl in the white Honda would move over there. Then that car in the right lane would lose the gain it had on the box truck and the white Honda would move back over behind the box truck. Then she saw a small opening. A very small opening. In between me and he car ahead of me. It wasn’t more than a car and half length between me and the car ahead of us but the girl in the white Honda was positioned so that her shift would have clipped my front fender. I’ve taken a defensive driving course. I am an alert driver. I not only look at what’s directly i front of me but what’s surrounding me and ahead of the car in front of me. I try to notice at least 4 or 5 cars ahead. That’s what I like about being in a SUV, I can see clear ahead of me so I’m prepared.

This girl in the white Honda decided to try to get into my lane. Only I didn’t have time to hit my brakes nd take the passive approach. She was going to hit me, so I swerved into the shoulder, over the “rumblebutts” (as Li’l Foot refers to them). And yes rule #1 is to not swerve, but had I done anything but swerve, there would’ve been an accident either way. Either I would’ve slammed on my brakes and caused a multi-car pile up of cars that were traveling behind us going 65/70 miles an hour or I would’ve stayed in my lane and she would’ve hit me causing a multi-car pile up of all the cars behind be going 65/70 miles an hour. There was no choice for me. I maintained speed. I terrifyingly drove on the shoulder narrowly missing shreds of “alligators” (truck tire treads) and other debris. I was run off the road for about 50-100 yards. It went so fast yet so slow I can’t even remember how far it lasted. We wound up past the box truck and she moved into the middle lane and I edged back on the road and into the middle lane in front of her as well. I was shaking. My adrenaline was rushing. I had the knot in my stomach you get when you’ve been driving and all of sudden you come around a blind curve and there’s a cop sitting in the bushes and then you see his lights start flashing…yeah..that feeling! I was terrified of what just happened. And I can only imagine what it looked like from behind and around us.

So tonight, my thankful, again not what I was expecting to post, but I couldn’t help but think how thankful I am to be alive! That girl ran me off the road. Things could’ve ended very differently. They didn’t, but I’m just saying, they could’ve. Tonight we were let out of work at 4. It was a nice treat. I can tell you, I did NOT take the highway of doom home tonight. I took every back road I could to get home. And you know what, I was home just 10 minutes later than had I taken the highway. I majorly pissed off the GPS in doing so, but I arrived safe, and ALIVE and that’s what matters!